


Love, that one word

by hallyupotter



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 12:15:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19701178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallyupotter/pseuds/hallyupotter
Summary: As Nayeon roamed around Mina’s room, she saw stacks of envelopes on the desk. She gradually read the labels and at that moment, she felt a bump on her throat, and her tears started to betray her. She was left speechless and she doesn’t know what to do and what to say. It feels like a knife was pierced through her heart.Did Mina write all of this ..when she was about to die?





	Love, that one word

Out of curiosity, Nayeon entered her room. She could still vividly remember her saying, "This room is off limits, Im Nayeon. Try stepping foot in here and you’ll never make it out alive.”

Never in her entire existence did she see and enter her room. Nayeon always follows what she says anyway. Nayeon trusts her so much. She has always been the secretive type, so Nayeon have just grown to understood why she’s uncomfortable with people seeing most of her stuff, even if she’s dating her for years already. Up to this day, Nayeon has no idea what the interior design is, she doesn’t know all the stuff she's hiding - if she has one.

Nayeon stepped inside the room and observed the surroundings. The interior speaks everything she likes. It’s simple, it’s aesthetically appealing, it’s clean. You could feel the peace inside. It is serene, and it still smells like her. The room still smells like Myoui Mina.

As Nayeon roamed around Mina’s room, she saw stacks of envelopes on the desk. She gradually read the labels and at that moment, she felt a bump on her throat, and her tears started to betray her. She was left speechless and she doesn’t know what to do and what to say. It feels like a knife was pierced through her heart.

Did Mina write all of this ..when she was about to die?

\---

"Nayeon." Mina hugged her from behind. Nayeon could smell her perfume, and she can feel Mina’s body on hers.

"Mina." Face automatically drawn a curve as Nayeon faced her-- eyes sparkling. Maybe it’s the mina effect as she calls it. Mina always looks so beautiful in Nayeon’s eyes. For her, she’s the most beautiful human being on earth.

"Why do we still use our names in calling each other?" She pouted. "Can’t we have an endearment or anything atleast?"

"We dont need any of those, Mina."

"And why?" She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

"Hearing you say my name is one of my favorite things in the world. Why do we need those cheesy call names anyway, right baby?" She blushed and Nayeon swears it’s her favorite part in teasing Mina. She always acts cute when she’s annoyed and the older girl falls for her charms everytime.

"Whatever." Mina marched away from Nayeon but the taller girl still managed to grab her arm.

"Aren’t you gonna hug me or like whatever?"

"Why would I?"

"I just said something sweet and it even made you blush, yet you opted to walk away? Manners."

“Okay?" She still started walking away from the older girl that left Nayeon dumbfounded.

"Hey hey. Are you mad?"

"No." Her flat tone had Nayeon taken aback, but she didn’t flinch and strode towards the living room.

"I just dont want to call you stuff. I’m sorry, im just.. calling you Mina is more comfortable." I explained myself.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Okay." She uttered in a cold tone which made Nayeon flustered because she isn’t normally like that. Nayeon panicked.

"I’m sorry, okay?" It’s obvious how soft the older girl is when it comes to Mina, she’s the love of my life after all.

"It's okay." Mina still not glancing at Nayeon that urged the older girl to sat beside her and slightly caress her head.

"Mina, dont be like this." Nayeon softly held Mina’s hand but the latter didn’t reciprocate the hand- holding Nayeon initiated.

"Hey, say something."

Mina doesn’t say anything but Nayeon immediately think of possible endearments she could use for her. She gets nervous when Mina’s annoyed, even with the dumbest reasons.

"Sweetie baby angel love boo" Nayeon looked like she was rapping because of her sudden release of words, but suddenly, a wide smile was plastered on Mina’s face. Nayeon thought it was like an angel fell from Heaven.

“Her smile is the most attractive part of her, especially when her eyes form a crescent-shaped, and her gums show. Aside from the fact that she has a beautiful face that makes most people like her, but she still chose me.” These thoughts linger in Nayeon’s mind. She couldn’t be more happy to have Mina by her side. She always thinks she’s lucky for that mere fact, and maybe she is.

"Call me boo, Nayeon. Please please please." She looks like a puppy craving for attention. Nayeon found her too cute. Her weakness has always been Myoui Mina.

\--

As they walk on the busy streets with their hands intertwined, It was noticeable how Mina was catching her breathe. She’s struggling, and it looks like she’s already tired even though they just walked for a good 5 minutes. Nayeon didn’t want to ask, because she knows Mina. Her girlfriend will tell her if anything is wrong. But that didn’t stop her from asking her girlfriend about the situation anyway.

“Boo, are you okay? Mina?” Nayeon asked. She interlocked her fingers with Mina as she checks up on her. The younger girl only threw her a smile. Nayeon thought it was obvious how Mina still manages to hide things behind a beautiful smile.

“Of course, I am.” Mina sent her a forced smile. But eyes cant lie, Myoui Mina.. You’re not okay.

Nayeon gave out a sigh and a frown. She looks at Mina for a good 10 seconds without saying anything. Mina noticed the sudden action and she abruptly held Nayeon’s face. She caressed her cheeks with her thumb and slowly observed he facial features until she stopped and starred on the older girls’ eyes.

“Your eyes keep burning me and I wouldn't mind seeing myself burnt to ashes with your gaze, Nayeon-ah” Her voice was weak and fragile, “I was in a deep kind of universe to fall from your sweet eyes and precious voice, it was something.. It was something I wouldn't let go even for a second. Can you just.. Can you still hold on to me?”

A tear ran down her cheek, and Mina held Nayeon’s hand tightly. Once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in a continuous stream.

“Boo, what’s the problem?” Nayeon asked, her voice failing her. She immediately wiped her tears away, not wanting Mina to see it. She’s confused by her actions, and she doesn’t want to ask what’s wrong. She don’t want to pressure her. Because she knows, Mina will tell it soon. Hopefully.

“Nothing. I just want you to know that whatever happens, I will always be with you. I will always be right next to you. Remember that, Im Nayeon.”

Nayeon didn’t have a choice and nodded in response, but a tear escaped from her eyes. Mina’s actions, the way she said those things, it made Nayeon feel anxious. Mina’s words are deep, and Nayeon knows that she’s not always like that. She doesn’t know what will happen, but she doesn’t expect for the worst.

“Don’t overthink, nabongs. I’m okay. I just want to let you know that I love you, okay? I love you.” A reassuring smile surfaced on Mina’s face that slowly faded with tears coming from her eyes. It was painful for Nayeon to see the love of her life having a hard time with whatever it is that’s bugging her. All she could do was envelop the younger one in an embrace and let the torrent of her tears to soak through the older girl’s shirt.

“Don’t expect me to not overthink when you’re giving me reasons to. What’s going on, boo?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know.” She whispers hugging the older one tightly. Nayeon could hear her silently screaming, suffocating with each breath she took holding onto the emotions she had been keeping for long. She ran her fingers through Mina’s hair in attempt to calm the silent war within her mind.

“I won’t force you to tell me. I will wait, just please don’t cry. You know I hate seeing you cry.” Mina hugged Nayeon tighter and there’s nothing the latter could do but hug her back.

Hours passed by and they were still wandering to the busy streets of Seoul when Mina’s phone rang. She temporarily released her hand from Nayeon to check on it.

“Okay. Okay. Yeah. I will come. Yes, i'm with Nayeon. Just wait, unnie. Okay. Yeah.” Mina ended the call and looked at me feeling sorry that she has to go home.

“Was that Bona? How is she?” Nayeon asked with a sweet smile but Mina just nodded at her.

“I think you should go. Is it an emergency? Do you want me to come with you?” She continued. She knows it’s an emergency since Bona, Mina’s sister was the one who called, and she never calls Mina these days for nothing.

“No, Nabongs. I’m okay. I just need to be home by now. Will you be okay?”

“Of course. I will just pass by the craft shop to get some stuff and I will head home after that. Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” She nodded and hugged the older girl telling she’s going to be okay.

The slight assurance that Mina will be okay was all Nayeon needed to let her go. Nayeon initiated a hug and they embraced with such intensity. Their arms clasped around each other and pressed their chests together. Nothing much, just two people in love.

They let go of each other’s embrace, “Just call me if you need anything, okay?”

Mina let out a nod. She waved at her girlfriend goodbye and left her standing in front of a gift shop. As Nayeon walks towards the door, she cant help but think of the conversation she had with Mina. She knows something is wrong but she chose to believe that everything will be fine.

\--

Nayeon slumped into her bed and decided to scroll through Netflix, when suddenly her phone rang. She immediately answered the call without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” A woman from another line said. Nayeon suddenly felt anxious. She doesn’t know why but she feels like something is wrong. She instantly got up on her bed after hearing the voice.

“Hello?” She answered, tensed.

“This is Nayeon, right?”

“Y-yes. Who’s this?”

“Nayeon-ah.” A sudden change in her voice can be defined. “This.. this is Bona.”

Shock was drawn on Nayeon’s face, or maybe she felt stupid for not recognizing her voice. 

“Ah.. Bona! Hello! Is something wrong? Why did you call?”

Nayeon and Bona are same-aged friends. They eventually got closer when Mina introduced Nayeon to her sister. She never talked to Bona for months for a reason that the latter is focused on studying for med school and the latter barely comes home to their house and could barely meet up with Mina.

Nayeon tried to hide the nervousness in her voice.

“Can you come here right now? Nayeon, im sorry. Mina’s in the hospital.”

Nayeon felt my heart broke after hearing those words. Mina’s in the hospital.

She ended the call without saying anything and rushed to Mina’s family hospital. Her heart was pounding. She didn’t know what to do. She was too nervous and her mind’s already in a blur. She entered Mina’s suite and saw Bona silently crying on the side. She could see her girlfriend in a hospital bed, with machines and any of those life-saving devices attached to her while being accompanied by a doctor and three nurses.

“What happened?” Tears of despondency slowly cascaded down her cheeks leaving her so weak and frail.

“Nayeon, hold on please.” Bona clutched at Nayeon’s hand with warm liquid flowing through her cheeks.

“BONA I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!”

The doctors looked at her signaling her to lower her voice. Nayeon was left frustrated with everything around her. She has no idea what’s happening, all she could do was let out every frustrations through a series of sobs. Her lungs rummaged for oxygen, and her sobbing had the same force of someone drowning

“Nayeon listen, Mina… She might leave us. Please, hold on.” Bona was lost for a moment. It was hard for her to deliver the news to Nayeon. She knew Mina has been keeping this to her girlfriend for so long.

It made Nayeon stop. It made her jaw drop. It made her world break.

“W-what do you mean? What is happening? I am just with her hours ago. She’s happy, she’s okay--” She realized. 

“Damn it!” Just now.

“What kind of asshole am I? My girlfriend is suffering on her own, and I’m oblivious?”

“Brain tumor.” Her lower lip trembled as she struggled to blink back the tears before they dripped down her cheeks. 

It was hard for Bona too...

The doctor called Bona out to sign some papers so Nayeon was left alone in the room. Mina only has Bona since their parents died in a car crash when they were just kids. Bona was always there for Mina whenever she was needed. She never failed to do the duties she was expected to do for her sister. 

Mina looks weak lately, Nayeon pondered. There were no other words nor signs. But when Nayeon saw her lying on a hospital bed, weak and fatal, she knew why. Mina is sick.

Moments after, she saw Mina weakly moving her hands and slowly opened her eyes. Nayeon immediately rushed to her side and intertwined her hands to hers. It was all Mina needed.

“Are you okay?” Nayeon asked openly knowing that she’s not okay. Mina gave out a pale smile, and nodded.

“Are you sure? I can call the doct—“

“Nayeon.” Mina held her hands and gazed at my eyes. Those gazes, those mesmerizing eyes. Nayeon could look at it forever.

“Yes?”

“You deserve better, Nayeon-ah” She tried to clear her throat, but the twisted lump remained, drawing her voice tight over every syllable. 

“W-what do you mean? What are you talking about?”

“You don’t need to be attached onto someone who’ll be dying soon anyway.”

“What are you saying. You’re not going to die, boo. Stop saying things like that. It’s hurting me.”

“It’s true. You should leave me now.”

“Why would I? I will stay here with you. No matter what the hell will happen. Don’t push me away, Mina. Please.”

“But I can’t hold on any longer.” She shifted her eyes to Nayeon “I think I can’t last a day anymore. It’s getting hard now, nabongs. Please, just let me go.”

“I can’t.” Those are the only words that left Nayeon's lips. Her tears betrayed her and it won’t stop flowing. Warm liquid keeps on sliding down her cheeks.

Nayeon pulled the younger girl in a tight hug. Begging. Pleading.

“Why would I let you go? Why would I let someone who im planning to be with forever go? No, I won’t leave.” Her eyes welled up in tears as she stared down at her feet.

"Do you want to rest first? Don’t leave me, okay? I’ll wait for you until you wake up, I promise.” Nayeon pulled out a pinky finger and so does Mina. Both of them smiled at each other as Mina nodded in response.

Mina slept for an hour and suddenly woke up. Nayeon never left her side, she stayed inside the hospital room while holding her hand.

“Nayeon,” She calls.

“Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

“Nayeon, please.”

“Please what?”

“Please let me go.”

Those are the words Nayeon fears of hearing when she woke up.

But she did.. she did say it. Mina said it.

The older girl closed her eyelids as tears continuously fell. She let out a heavy sigh,

“In this world, the least thing I want to see is you suffering. I don’t want seeing you hurt. I don’t wanna see you feel pain.” Her voice began to crack. “If you cant hold on anymore, I will let you go.”

Mina smiled, like she was only waiting for Nayeon to say that.

“I made my choice, Nabongs… Euthanasia.” Nayeon can’t see sadness in her eyes but rather, she can see happiness, glee..

The older girl closed her eyes and breathe. She doesn’t want to do this, but if that’s what Mina wants, who is she to say no. Even if it will change her life, forever.

They hugged. They kissed. They cried. Mina leaned her head on Nayeon’s shoulder.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Words coming from the older girl’s mouth.

“I’m sorry.” It was all what Mina could say. She’s sorry.

“You know how I hate that word. You don’t have to be sorry.”

“I'll be away for a while, okay? It will hurt a little, Nabongs. Just a little- I promise.”

“You’re going to come back, right?” Nayeon asked knowing that when someone die, there’s no coming back. Mina mumbled, “Maybe”.

Enough to make the other say, “Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.” She lowered her head.

“This is the only choice I have, Nayeon. I’m going to die soon anyway. I feel like i.. I just made it faster. I guess you are the only one who’ll see me die.. It’s hard now. I’m only holding on for you and my sister. But I can’t hold on any longer nabongs. The pain, it creeps on my body. It’s suffocating me. Breathing is getting hard too.” Tears flows on Mina’s face. Tear after a tear, as it created a stream.

Tell my sister how much I love her so much and that i'm sorry if I was ever a burden to her. Tell everyone that Myoui Mina loves someone like Im Nayeon, and I promise nabongs, I promise that it will never change. Nayeon-ah, I already told you.. find someone that is worth your love. I will be truly happy with that. You have so much love to give, you deserve someone who will wrap up your broken pieces and love you for who you are.”

Nayeon was left flabbergasted hearing those words.

She keeps on insisting me to find someone. Someone better. But she’s already the best.

Mina is willing to lose everything for her but at the end, she still ended up feeling empty, alone and broken.

She raised her pinky finger and so Mina gave her a smile.. a pale one. Mina tangled her pinky finger on Nayeon’s and said,

“Together”

Maybe sometimes, when people say forever, they actually mean it.

“Forever,” Nayeon added.

She left Nayeon a sweet smile and Mina suddenly closed her eyes. Not long after, the machine beeped, signaling that Mina’s heartbeat stopped.

Her chest laid still, no flickers of life or signs of Mina’s innocence lingering in the room. It’s a surefire sign that she's gone.

Nayeon sat beside her, numb, forever.

Mina didn’t even wait for a doctor to remove those life-saving devices attached to her. She fought with her illness, she gave up on her life, and only Nayeon witnessed that. It wasn’t mercy killing, it was giving up- giving up to suffering, giving up to everything.

“In my point of view, forever doesn’t exist but I made an exception when Mina promised me one. She never even bid goodbye to me. My princess is gone, my angel is gone, the one I promised forever with is gone.. My boo is gone.”

“You are a part of me, but now you’re gone, Mina. And now i’m dead inside.” She said to herself.

\---

Out of curiosity, Nayeon entered her room. She could still vividly remember her saying, "This room is off limits, Im Nayeon. Try stepping foot in here and you’ll never make it out alive.”

Never in her entire existence did she see and enter her room. Nayeon always follows what she says anyway. Nayeon trusts her so much. She has always been the secretive type, so Nayeon have just grown to understood why she’s uncomfortable with people seeing most of her stuff, even if she’s dating her for years already. Up to this day, Nayeon has no idea what the interior design is, she doesn’t know all the stuff she's hiding - if she has one.

Nayeon stepped inside the room and observed the surroundings. The interior speaks everything she likes. It’s simple, it’s aesthetically appealing, it’s clean. You could feel the peace inside. It is serene, and it still smells like her. The room still smells like Myoui Mina.

As Nayeon roamed around Mina’s room, she saw stacks of envelopes on the desk. She gradually read the labels and at that moment, she felt a bump on her throat, and her tears started to betray her. She was left speechless and she doesn’t know what to do and what to say. It feels like a knife was pierced through her heart.

“Did Mina write all of this ..when she was about to die?” She asked herself while holding her mouth in agape.

She took the envelopes and read the labels. A certain letter caught her attention because it has a “NAYEON” on it written in bold letters. Without hesitation, she opened it and read the letter inside.

Nayeon,

if you’re reading this, I’m already gone. I’m sorry if i didn’t say a word about my health to you. As selfish as it may sound, i just dont want to make you suffer too. I dont want to see you hurt, that's why I hid this. I need to, I have to. And I’m so sorry for that. Having you is the best thing. Well at least you’re mine when i left, right? But dont just embrace that Nabongs. Find someone who deserves you more. Find someone who can prove to you that forever exists. I’m really sorry that I am not that person. I’m sorry, Nayeon... some stories just dont have happy endings- and maybe ours was an example.. but dont forget about me, dont escape from the past and dont ever throw your memories with me because Nabongs, I will always be beside you. I will always be with you. i promised right? I promised. I will fulfill my promise. And I have no plans on breaking it. I love you Nayeon. I love you so much that there are no words I could find to describe the intensity of what I feel for you. I love you and I’m sorry for leaving you. As long as you remember me, i would still be alive.. in your heart, Im Nayeon. I will always be there.

your boo,

Mina

She rubbed at her chest, trying to ease the ache in her heart, and gulped for air. It was so hard to breathe.

She really wrote this beforehand. She wrote this knowing she’ll die soon. She wrote this for me.

Nayeon continued reading all the labels on the envelopes in front of her and she was certain that she never expected any of these.

[ On your Graduation Day ] 

Note: Read this on your Grad! Congratulations Nabongs!

Nayeon attempts to understand the use of labels for a second and realized it is for her. She realized Mina left them for her to see.. And suddenly, her eyes began to get wet, again.

[ Happy 21st birthday! ]

Note: Read this on your birthday, Nabongs!

And it’s only three months left before her 21st birthday.

[ May 4 ]

Note: Read this on our 3rd anniversary.

There are many piles of envelopes left until she flips over to a certain envelope and it made her stare to it for a good 20 seconds.

[ To her.. ]

Note: I told you, Nayeon. You deserve someone better.

She suddenly felt a hand on top of her shoulders, she thought that it’s Mina so she looked around, realizing that she’s just hallucinating.

Looking up the ceiling, Nayeon thought about what happened months ago.

What if Mina didn’t die? Are we happy now? But then she shook her head and realize, she’s gone. And she will never come back.

\-----

It’s been 3 years now. Nayeon kept Mina in her heart- she will forever have a place in there anyway. And in those three years, she always wakes up smiling and rolling to the other side, wanting to hug a certain one finding out that she isnt there.

But on the brighter side, she still followed everything Mina wanted for her. It was a long road, it was hard at the beginning, but she survived.

“Baby.” She called. Nayeon turned her head to look at the person who called her.

“Momoring.” She smiled.

Mina told Nayeon to find someone who’s worth her love.. and she found Momo. She’s basically the opposite of Mina.. She doesn’t even try to compare Momo to her. She always explains to her friends that she didn’t like Momo because of similarities with Mina. Rather, she loved her with all the flaws and differences of the latter to other. Mina gave her so much- so much love, efforts and appreciation and Momo did that too. She gave me everything she wants, everything she needs. She mended her broken pieces, she never left.

Nayeon hugged her, stood up and walked to her room to get something.

“I’ll be right back. Wait here.” Momo nodded and gave her sweet smile.

She came back smiling and kissed her on the forehead. Without a doubt, she handed Momo something.

“What’s this?” She asked with a face full of hesitation.

Momo observed the thing she was holding. A white envelope with a label.

[ To her.. ]

Note: I told you, Nayeon. You deserve someone better

She slowly tear it open and unfolded the letter.

To the girl nayeon loves,

Hello! I wish i had the chance to meet you. if you’re reading this now, then there's no doubt, Nayeon really loves you or she wouldn’t have given this to you. I am hoping that you feel the same way too because the least thing i want for Nayeon is to get hurt. I wrote this letter for you to know that im so happy she's found you. I’m so happy because i know Nayeon is happy. nothing in the world can make me happy than to see her smile. Please give Nayeon the things I failed to give her. Please stay beside her, always guide her and never ever leave her. Like I did. Nayeon is so fragile that’s why I really want to protect her. I can’t do it right now but I will protect her from above. The both of you. Im Nayeon- she always tends to leave her phone inside the refrigerator so if she lost it, you know where to look. She loves Love, Rosie so much that she would go and watch it a hundred times if she could so please bare with her. Nayeon wants to go shopping when she’s bored. She wants to eat sweet candies so there should be packs of chocolates and candies inside the fridge every week. She also loves kids so much she gets excited over every kid she sees. I’m sorry if I sound demanding though, you probably know this already anyway. Please take good care of her. Please. Now Nayeon finally found what she was looking for, someone who she needs. And someone who would love her as much as I do. I only hope the best for the both of you. Please be happy.

Sincerely,

Mina

Teary-eyed, Momo lokked Nayeon who is seven meters away from her holding her phone and focusing on playing games. After a fraction of seconds, Nayeon glanced at Momo and gave her a beam. Momo pouted and run towards her and gave her a hug.

Loving? it wasn’t fun when Mina left. Nayeon thought it was. Yet it was gray. It was beautiful yet terrible. But Momo came to her life. She’s no ordinary girl- she sleeps a lot, she sings crazily, she acts dumb most of the time, she snores loudly. But with those flaws and imperfections, she is the Momo who was there for her when she needed someone. She was the Momo who stays awake for her when she’s having panic attacks, she was the Momo who will sing to her whenever she wanted to, she was the Momo who will cuddle with her when she was longing for someone to hold her. She was the Momo who loved her exactly the way she wanted to be loved.

Love, that one word.

It might hurt us sometimes and it might cause us pain, but at the end of the day, love is always beautiful. Love will always be beautiful.

Mina left her nothing but beautiful memories and Nayeon was beyond thankful for that. All she did was to move on, she’s in a better place anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading this. Bare with me for grammar and spelling mistakes tho. I promise improve soon! Feedbacks and comments to improve future stories would be appreciated too! You can use #MinayeonLTOW on twitter so i could easily see it! And you can send me things on curiouscat.me/ultsyujin too ❤ Again, thank you!


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